Monday, September 29, 2008

Everybody jumps... sometimes.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Script by Max Steiner

Ambient field sounds. Heroic trumpeting call to arms. Sounds of drawbridges lowering. Hoof beats.

A lovely pastoral view of an open field flanked by two castles. Zoom in on the leftmost castle, see the door open and the Pie Knight (PK) exit the castle on his horse, heading for the field. Fast pan to a close up of the rightmost castle, which the Black Knight (BK) leaves also on his horse, also heading towards the field.

Hoof beats. Slightly comical charging music (PK theme).

The PK on his horse, lance at the ready.

Hoof beats. Intense, foreboding charging music (BK theme).

The BK on his horse, lance also at the ready.

PK theme

PK on his horse.

BK theme
BK on his horse.

PK theme
PK slipping off horse.

BK theme
Closer shot of BK on his horse.

PK theme
PK slips even more off his horse.

BK theme
Even closer shot of BK on his horse.

PK theme petering out. Thud sound effect.
PK falls of his horse, lays expressionless on the ground, still holding his lance.

BK theme
close up shot of BK on his horse

BK theme. "Shiiiing!" sound effect.
the two horses cross paths, BK's lance pierces nothing but empty air. The PK is not in this shot, as he has already fallen of his horse.

music stops. hoof beats. stabbing sound effect and "urk!" noise
Close up of BK looking confused. Suddenly, he seizes up.

ambient field sounds. gurgling.
PK is still lying on the ground, and BK has just impaled himself on PK's lance.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Idea Part 2: The Quickening

So, we've got two castles, see, and each one spits out a knight to joust on the field of honor. The one on the left sends an inept knight on a big, squishy horse, and the castle on the right spits out a scary night in black armor. The Black Knight seems to know what he's doing, and the Squishy Knight is so incompetent that he literally falls off his horse. The Black Knight, in a surprise upset, misses the joust against the Squishy Knight's now-vacant horse, and finds himself impaled on the lance of the fallen squishy knight, who is still lying flat on the ground.

This guy is also one of my better creations (but seriously this time.) He's also the main character of my senior animation. He's a plucky entrepreneur who perhaps doesn't think things through.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

These are the best things I ever made:

You can just feel the quality on this one.

Butts are funny, admit it.
Okay, Porky Pig is the man. When he says he's traveling to darkest Africa to capture the last dodo, he does it. He flies a plane all by himself into the heart of darkest Africa, and he brings no weapons or nets or any other form of capturing equipment. Why? 'Cause all Porky needs to do ANYTHING are his bare hands. Three words: registered lethal weapons.

And while I'm on the subject...
You know what's awesome? Fantasia, that's what's awesome:

I rest my case.

Monday, September 15, 2008

In the Beginning Part I: The Secret of the Ooze

Here's a joke:

A priest walks into a bar and says: "I believe Jesus is my Lord and savior and I would like some communion wine." The bartender, being a man for conversation, says "Okay", and gives the priest the wine, and the priest leaves. Shortly thereafter, a Rabbi walks into the bar and says: "I believe the messiah has yet to come, and I would like some Manischewitz wine." The bartender gives the Rabbi his wine and the the Rabbi leaves. Shortly thereafter a whale enters the bar and says: "AAAAAaaawoooooooooOOOOOOooooooooooo."

Tah da!
Yes, that's the whole joke, and it's really the best warning I can give you about where things are heading.